Why people have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on ever since the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with problems, cause despair, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, money, age difference, religious background, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married women.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affairs. I suppose mainly though it is just the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to turn the craving on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but society also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your relatives or anybody else? You would need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to look after. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sadly this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, usually the gentleman is sexually neglecting his lady for a tones of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown distantly, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.